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We'll be half-way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
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12th-Jan-2009 08:29 pm - The survey
Very free
Yeah. We knew it would happen. It happens every year.

The 2008 surveyCollapse )
28th-Dec-2008 12:00 am - <3
Je veux vivre

I love you.
28th-Oct-2008 02:35 pm - Stupid Ruben made me [<333 XD]
Je veux vivre

63 Annoying Questions

1. Song that always makes you sad?: Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley and Allison Kraus
2. Last thing you bought?: A grand stuffed baked potato. *coughs*
3. Last person you argued with?: Ruben >>
4. Do you put Butter before putting the jelly on?: NO what kind of FREAK does that? Okay not gonna lie, it sounds delicious.
5. One of your stuffed animals: Ginger Bear :(
6. Did you ever own at one time a Nysnc Cd?: No.
7. Favorite day of the week?: SATURDAY!
8. Favorite Sundae topping?: Uhmmm. Chocolate. Or nuts. *licks lips*
9. Did you take Piano lessons?: I took a piano class in uni, but I never took lessons. Thank the fucking Lord.
10. Most frequent song played?: Destiny - Zero 7
11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?: America's Next Top Model *grins*
12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?: Basketball, because hockey is lame.
13. Date someone older or younger?: Older <33
14. One place you could travel right now?: Lisbon
15. Do you use umbrellas?: I do! Why would I want to get wet?
16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?: *snorts* I didnt even know there WERE words besides "O Canada" until two years ago.
17. Favorite Cheese?: Muenster. *orgasms*
18. Disturbed or My Chemical Romance?: MCR
19. Do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes?: Brunettes *kisses*
20. Best job you ever had?: Interning for Todi. Amazing.
21. did you go to your high school prom?: I went to GSA prom my junior and senior years
22. perfect time to wake up?: As early as possibly, so I can spend more time with him.
23. perfect time to go to bed?: When he does, so I can fall asleep by his side.
24. do you use your queen right away in chess? ..: Nah.
25. Ever been in a car accident?: Minor fender bender, nothing serious.
26. closer to mom or dad...or neither?: Mom, lawl.
27. what age is this exciting life over for you?: I dont understand this question, but my life is always going to be amazing because I am with the most wonderful man ever
28. what decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?: Hmm... 50s had those great skirts... 60s had indiscriminate sex, 80s had AMAZING music... I give up. I GIVE UP.
29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?: I had a pair of black boots that made my legs look GOOD...
30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high schoo: LOL like everything I own?
31. Were you in track and field?: Uhm. Fatty didn't run.
32. Were you ever in a school talent show?: I was in GSA. I was in a talent SCHOOL, bitches.
33. Have you ever written in a library book?: Psh, all the damn time.
34. Allergic to?: Uhmmm. I just have seasonal allergies.
35. Favorite fruit?: Strawberry
36. Have you watched sex and the city?: Yeah. I dont like it.
37. Baseball hat or toque?: WTF is a toque?
38. Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?: Always shampoo, that way I can condition and leave it in while I soap the rest of my wet, naked body. *grins*
39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?: Always wet it. I like it to be REALLY wet.
40. Pen or pencil?: Pen.
41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?: Never even been in one.
42. Have you thrown up on a plane?: I havent been on one yet :/
43. Have you thrown up in a car?: Nope
44. Have you thrown up at work?: Nope
45. Do you scream on roller coasters?: I used to scream REALLY loudly and REALLY shrill-ly, but it sort of hurts my voice, so I dont do it as much.
46. Who was your first prom date?: Tom, hahahaha
47. Who was your first roommate?: CASEY, THE BEST ROOMMATE EVER.
48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?: Vodka. *coughs*
49. What was your first job?: Interning with Todi.
50. What was your first car?: TBA...
51. When did you go to your first funeral?: When I was... 8? [Great] Aunt Liz.
52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?: Uhm. I first moved cities when I was 11, but I moved by -myself- when i was 18
53. Who was your first grade teacher?: Mrs. Hartraft. [Ruben also thinks I should mention Mrs. Moorecock, who was my fourth grade teacher]
54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?: PORTUGAL ZOMG XD XD XD
55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?: Myself. To get a brownie from 711. yeah, Im a badass.
56. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?: Uhm...
57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent: Mason, lol. Fairfax VA
58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?: Call on the phone? Uhm, Moo maybe. If call is a general term, than Ruben
59. Who: My mothers.
60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?: Wonder if Ruben will be on or not.
61. What was the first concert you attended?: If choral concerts dont count, then this STUPID thing called Teenapalooza. Dont ask.
62. First tattoo or piercing?: My earlobes.
63. First celebrity crush?: Orlando Bloom?

Take this survey - 63 Annoying Questions
26th-Sep-2008 12:28 am - THIS SHIT IS HARD, GOD DAMN
Uggggh this is starting to get old. But I think it's actually starting to work! Ruben and I sort of had a fight today, which naturally made me upset BUT I was able to keep my head and think and express my thoughts and I was so proud of myself. :) So maybe this is working after all.

And as a side note, this writing-in-LJ-everyday thing is hard enough without being in the middle of a Skype call with Matty and my baby. But whatever. I can do it. XD

I got a 90 on my Astronomy exam Tuesday, which is AMAZING, because the only higher score than mine was a 96. :) I'M ACTUALLY LEARNING SHIT! Its intense.

Its hard to think of anything to say tonight... I don't know why. Perhaps I maxed out my mental capacity earlier today, but maybe it really it just is the fact that it's a quarter til 1 in the morning and my brain has ceased to function. Speaking of which... why the hell am I still awake?? I don't stay up this late anymore... I just dont. Especially cuz I'm still talking to Ruben and me staying up late is keeping him up late aaaaaand Ash was right, I'm an awful girlfriend.

I have a voice lesson tomorrow, and opera, and work, and as such, I need to sleep.
23rd-Sep-2008 11:26 pm - Oh, black swan...
Je veux vivre

I studied like crazy for this astronomy test, and I think I may have just aced it. I know I horribly butchered three different laws, but thats only 3 questions out of 50 - if I get the rest right, thats still a 96, which is still an A. I'm hoping for an A, but I'll be satisfied with a B. I'm seriously so proud of myself - I did the test in about 20 minutes and it was so easy and I feel like I actually learned a lot. Which is impressive considering I only paid attention to the first two lectures and didn't even bother looking at the slides online until this past Thursday. Heh. BUT WHATEVER I TOTALLY PASSED.

I also have an ear training test tomorrow, and for the first time ever I'm not too worried about it. I have found that I am an extremely accomplished guesser at chord progressions, I'm very good at chord recognition, I'm decent at melodic dictation (sometimes - it's really hit or miss with dictation, but I'm always able to accurately notate the rhythm, so thats partial credit at least) and... I know most of the intervals. For some reason lately I've been confusing 3rd and 6ths, though, and I have no idea why. *bites lip* But after tomorrow the testing will be OVER for a while - huzzah!

Because I feel like I still need to say something - my fingers are in motion and I can't bare to stop them now, not when I'm sort of on a roll - sorry flist - I need inspiration. So I turn to Ruben. What shall I write about? I ask him. His reply?

Very unimaginative: My favorite animal.Collapse )
22nd-Sep-2008 12:42 pm(no subject)
So basically, I have this problem with thinking sometimes, especially if I'm upset. It's like my brain completely shuts down, and I can hear and usually understand things that are being said to me, but I cant really process them all the way, or at least enough to forumulate an intelligent response. Or I CAN formulate an intelligent response, but it takes an exasperatingly long amount of time to do it, and I get physically and mentally tired and get a head ache.

Basically, I fail at thought. Fun.

So, I'm trying to figure out what I can do to... I dunno, gather my thoughts, so that when I need to communicate, when its vitally important that I do so, Im actually able. Aaaand what I've decided upon is that I'm going to try to write in here every day. Just... stuff, because the more random shit I have in here, the less thats cluttering up my head. And because I don't know what to say (I feel like starting will be the hardest part, but then the more I do it, the easier it will be and maybe, just maybe, itll start helping me) I'm going to just start with the writer's block questions on the main page.

Autumn starts today!Collapse )

*goes back to studying for Astronomy*
10th-Aug-2008 07:29 pm - And soon I know I'll be back with you
Je veux vivre
I need to write.

I have no idea what I need to say, but I need to write before I lose it, again. And I can't talk on IRC because there's no one there to talk to - Ioana went to bed, I think, and Ash left for a shower... and I dunno maybe I don't need to talk to another person anyway.

...Well no thats crap, there is one person I need to talk to... but best not to think about that right now.

I wish I could just write all this - or part of it, or none of it, or ANYTHING - down in his letter, but it's one of those days when the thoughts are racing so fast in my head that I'm lucky if my fingers are quick enough to type down a quarter of them, much less all of them. And never, never am I able to record the important thoughts, the ones that come back to plague me over and over again, day after day. Because I can't rememebr what they are. I know that they hurt, but before I can fully understand exactly what they are, they just dart away again and I'm left grasping air, as always.

They have colors, sometimes, these thoughts. I'm a lot more visual of a person than I thought... I can literally see the thoughts whirling around me like a tornado - I know I've made this comparison before, but it's the only one that really fits - and theyre all different. Sometimes - most times - the thoughts I see are words. Not complete sentences or even complete thoughts, but just single words, sometimes small phrases. Sometimes theyre pictures... a face, the curve of a back, the Pink room at work. And sometimes the most obscure of the thoughts are just colors. They'll be words too, but blurry, as if I don't have my contacts in and I'm trying to read a line of text on IRC. I can see the colors, but I can't make out the words.

They're bright blue, the thoughts that are plaguing me now. And I don't know what that means, but they are. Bright royal blue.

Ani just signed on, and that's very good. She's good at keeping my spirits high.

I've got to learn how to manage stress better... the entire left side of my face broke out, a cold sore tried to pop up yesterday, Im losing weight even though I'm eating I am...

Aidan and Ani are life-savers, seriously. <33
29th-Jun-2008 10:59 am - Kids...

I got out of the shower a few minutes ago, and my stepdad came up to me to tell me the most interesting story of something my baby sister had said.

Rachel, four years old, by the way, went into my room while I was in the shower, looking for me. Bob went into the room after her and told her to leave. "But I wanna talk to Barbara!" she pouted, continuing to look around in my rom for me. "Barbara's not in here right now, Rachel," Bob replied, going over to her to steer her out. "That's okay," she said with a shrug. "I'll just talk to her boyfriend then."

I choked when he told me that. There are... no words. Absolutely no words.

I think in about five minutes I'm giong to start hysterically laughing, though.
15th-Jun-2008 11:32 pm - Dunno
Im gonna whine.

My feet are bleeding. My thighs and my back are aching like I spent the entire day at the gym, and I can't quite understand why. My reflux is worse than it's been in a very long time, and Im suffering through the worst heatburn I can ever rememebr having. Well no... heartburn might be the wrong term. Its intense heartburn and esophagusburn and, like, STOMACHburn. And I'm completely exhausted but I can't go to sleep until the reflux calms down cuz it's not safe for my vocal folds.

*snorts* Like I even fucking use them anymore.

Work... is complicated. Oh, I got a new job, Flist people - half of you don't know this. But yeah, got a job at Victoria's Secret. And... I hate going to work. So much. Leaving for my shift is the hardest thing in the world to do. The moment I walk through the door, however... I dunno, it's easy to forget everything except for the task at hand, and I love doing what I do. And then I get home and I realize it's nearly 7 and... I realize exactly what that means, and I hate it. Our semi-annual sale starts on Tuesday (IF YOU NEED NEW BRAS OR PANTIES OR MAKEUP OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, OR YOU JUST WANT SOME AWESOME THINGS FOR SUPER CHEAP, SERIOUSLY, THE SALE IS AMAZING) so I get to stay after work for an extra three hours after we close tomorrow, stocking the store and getting it ready for Tuesday. And then Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I work uhm... a bajillion or so hours. I don't even know WHY but I started crying tonight after dinner. And I know that this is just going to get so much worse as the week goes on - there's still so much about my job that I don't know (even though I already know more about bras than most women will ever forget, lol) and we're going to be so freakishly busy starting on Tuesday that it's going to be really sink or swim.

Aaaand I'm done. Re-reading this, I'm sorry I sound so... bitter and depressed. I'm not, not really, but things have just been hard lately. But... I dunno, the hard things are the most worth-while, in the end. And hell, you all know I'm a fighter - I'm gonna kick ass at this. :)

My heartburn is calming down, so I'm going to attempt to go to sleep.

(Pssst... in case you read this... iloveyou.)
14th-Jun-2008 01:03 pm - Bringing it back old school
I was going through really old entries on here earlier, and I found an entry I made on December 14, 2003 where I pasted this. Now, since I'm copying it from myself it's probably going to be very similar but... 4 and a half years changes a person. In the original... meme?... you copy and paste what the other person has said. If what they say applies to you as well, you bold it. If it does not, you change it to something that does, and leave it in plain text. I'm copying this from my 15-and-a-half-year-old self. So, let's see!

01. I have done things I'm not proud of.Collapse )
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