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Where love is more than just your name
So basically, I have this problem with thinking sometimes, especially… 
22nd-Sep-2008 12:42 pm
So basically, I have this problem with thinking sometimes, especially if I'm upset. It's like my brain completely shuts down, and I can hear and usually understand things that are being said to me, but I cant really process them all the way, or at least enough to forumulate an intelligent response. Or I CAN formulate an intelligent response, but it takes an exasperatingly long amount of time to do it, and I get physically and mentally tired and get a head ache.

Basically, I fail at thought. Fun.

So, I'm trying to figure out what I can do to... I dunno, gather my thoughts, so that when I need to communicate, when its vitally important that I do so, Im actually able. Aaaand what I've decided upon is that I'm going to try to write in here every day. Just... stuff, because the more random shit I have in here, the less thats cluttering up my head. And because I don't know what to say (I feel like starting will be the hardest part, but then the more I do it, the easier it will be and maybe, just maybe, itll start helping me) I'm going to just start with the writer's block questions on the main page.

How do you personally sense the change in seasons? Is Autumn more of a season in itself, or a transition period?

In Nova - and back home, too - autumn is a definite season in and of itself. Besides the obvious difference of temperature, there are more subtle differences. The air is crisper in autumn - in summer the air is kind of heavy, and in winter it's either softly numbing or bitingly harsh - but in autumn it just has a fresh crispness to it. The leaves on the trees change from the dark green of summer to brilliant reds, oranges, browns, and golds. And... the air smells different too. Summer air smells like grass and chlorine and freedom, but the autumn air smells like... change. Not death, even though everything slowly is dying, but change. Like things - big things - are about to happen, but you can't see them yet - you can only feel them inside you, and you're filled with excitement and anticipation because even though you don't know what it is yet, you know it's going to be big and it's going to be wonderful. Autumn is saying goodbye to flipflops and hello to jackets. It's cracking open textbooks and drinking red bull at 4 in the morning, giggling with your study buddies because you're officially too tired to do anything more than laugh at your own absentmindedness (W"e're ravin' up bazes!")

And for me... autumn is firmly shutting the door on the spring and summer. Because for me, spring is linked with summer, and autumn is linked with winter. Summer is over, so spring finally is too. Everything that happened then happened then, and it's over now. Autumn is preparing for winter. Autumn is double digits. It's one step closer, and it's amazing.

*goes back to studying for Astronomy*
23rd-Sep-2008 01:40 am (UTC)
I'm looking forward to read your next entries, love, because, when you do express yourself, one is able to see just how beautiful you are inside and how fantastic is the way you perceive the world around you. Loved how you described what Autumn means to you. *coughespeciallythepartaboutthetwodigitscough*
I think it's a very good idea to start with writing. And I wanted you to know that, no matter what, I will be here for you, my beautiful butterfly.
I love you, always.
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